Christmas At Court's
Every year (for the last three years I believe), my girl, Courtney has thrown a holiday brunch at her crib for the girls. We enjoy lots of food, lots of champagne, and lots of 90’s and early 00’s r&b videos (lol she’s a sucker for B2K). This year I even crossed ‘watch Boomerang’ off of my list (FINALLY, I know).
Brunch in itself is always a great idea; but what makes Christmas at Court’s special, is the time we spend in reflection. After everyone’s had a plate or two, we pass around pens and scraps of paper, and think back on our year with the following questions in mind:
1. What three things are you most proud of this year?
Question one can be harder than it looks - a lot of times it’s easier to remember the bad things you struggled with; but this forces you to think back on the good. A couple of the things I was proud of this year were: using my time being single as one of exponential growth, and that I spent way more time hanging out with girlfriends. We all wrote three things down, and then went around the room. You only had to share one thing, but many of the women were proud of themselves and wanted to share their full lists and the context to the group. It feels great and is so important, because often times we don’t take the time to brag on ourselves and celebrate each other the way we should.
2. What three things are you leaving in 2018?
This is where things get a little more emotional. It’s painful to think back on the tough parts of the year. Many of the women wanted to leave specific events - deaths, losing a job, etc. behind. For others, it was mindsets and feelings, like self-doubt and protecting their energy. A couple of the things I am leaving in 2018 are: trying to do everything myself, and clinging to the good (letting go of both bad & good things that happen, not just bad).
Now is a good time to point out, that If you’re thinking about doing something similar, consider doing it with a group of trusted friends. I say this for a couple reasons. You can think about how/what you want to change, but it’s a completely different experience when you are saying those words out loud. It gets more real. You can’t hide the emotion and the pain behind it. And it gives you a little more accountability. I don’t think I would get choked up writing down the things I want to leave behind in this year.. but vocally expressing them, turns it into a real moment with yourself.
I know I’m spending a lot of time on this second question, but this part is important. As we read the things that we are leaving behind in 2018, we put our pieces of paper in a cooking pot. After getting it all out of our systems, we went to the balcony, lit a match, and lit all the papers on fire. Besides the fact that I’m already a pyro, it feels really good to see those papers burn up and turn into dust.
3. What three things do you want to bring into 2019?
Last but not least, we take time to think about the ways we want to grow in the new year. Courtney pulls out her box from years past and hands out the answers we gave to this question last year. It was a face palm moment for me, because as she handed me 2017’s paper, I was already writing down ‘more execution on ideas.’ What was the first thing on my 2017 paper? You guessed it, “I would like to execute more and talk less.” looool dangit Lex. But that was cool because I thought about the ways that I DID improve on that this year; and also, it hit home that this is something I must really need to continue working on. I also wrote that I want to bring in more collaboration and more residual income. We then all put our pieces of paper back into the box, to be revisited same time next year.
As I’ve gotten older, I really appreciate the get togethers with friends that are a step beyond just partying and catching up. Christmas at Court’s is a great way to wrap up the year, and I definitely recommend doing something similar with your friends! Here’s to even more self-awareness and more accountability in 2019!! And yes, even though I say 2019, I know it all starts now… don’t wait for that clock to hit midnight to do things differently and better.